Jenny,
after 3 months having him in HK, at last he told me the truth. he didnt want to be with me, but without money, he had to stay with me for money. I feel so cheap, but I feel lucky to have the truth before it's too late.
girls, shouts, slaps and a future without hope, for this end, I should celebrate for myself. babe.
he only knows how to put the blame on me and ask for money, so why should you be regret for his leaving?! remember, tarot reading says that You are embracing a beautiful future. with him, you will have dead end only, so dont overlook this hint for life.
jen
Friday, 25 September 2009
Saturday, 20 June 2009
Good news and bad news
Dear Diary,
Tmr will be the day that Peppe arriving in HK. I heard of a bad news about his gambling last night. I was too busy to reflect on the issue, I rushed to invite him to come whatsoever.
I doubted about my good intention will in fact hurting everyone. What is he going to do here in HK? Will it be even worse if he comes here & without any work? Is that the evnironment here can helo him to change? I wonder.
I am tired of these and don't want to speculate. All I want to do is to live a better life, no matter whom I will be staying with. This is my life, no one should ruin it.
Love, Jenny
Tmr will be the day that Peppe arriving in HK. I heard of a bad news about his gambling last night. I was too busy to reflect on the issue, I rushed to invite him to come whatsoever.
I doubted about my good intention will in fact hurting everyone. What is he going to do here in HK? Will it be even worse if he comes here & without any work? Is that the evnironment here can helo him to change? I wonder.
I am tired of these and don't want to speculate. All I want to do is to live a better life, no matter whom I will be staying with. This is my life, no one should ruin it.
Love, Jenny
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Change in life
Dear Diary,
What are you doing? Leaving your family for a man who doesn't love you or neither is he willing to take up the responsibility to you?
Jenny, you know this time you are leaving home not for anyone, just for a change in life, things might get better, so don't put the burden on him. Let him go, you are not for him, believe me. No matter how much you love him, it won't change anything. Nothing will be changed.
For your parents, you might get along better with them after this away. Don't worry, things are going to be fine.
Love, Jen
What are you doing? Leaving your family for a man who doesn't love you or neither is he willing to take up the responsibility to you?
Jenny, you know this time you are leaving home not for anyone, just for a change in life, things might get better, so don't put the burden on him. Let him go, you are not for him, believe me. No matter how much you love him, it won't change anything. Nothing will be changed.
For your parents, you might get along better with them after this away. Don't worry, things are going to be fine.
Love, Jen
He doesn't love you
Dear Diary,
You know what?! It's so ironic that until the very last minute, Peppe is not coming. How should I think?
He doesn't love you much, Jenny. He can keep blaming and picking on you for something unimportant. But obviously, it's important to him. Perhaps, he doesn't understand, or I don't understand. It's just so close that we can get together, but nevermind, he will be happier without me. I can never satisfy him. I'm just to careless or clumsy.
I just being foolish to think that we can make it. Not deeply in his mind has the intention to stay for life with me, Jenny, you have to understand.
It's just too unfair that he can move away without any burden while everything dropped on you. Don't worry, you will grow, jenny. He teaches you a lot as usual, life is not easy, it's full of uncertainty. Even the most certain one turns out to be unsecured. Don't think too much, it'll just hurt yourself.
Love, Jen
You know what?! It's so ironic that until the very last minute, Peppe is not coming. How should I think?
He doesn't love you much, Jenny. He can keep blaming and picking on you for something unimportant. But obviously, it's important to him. Perhaps, he doesn't understand, or I don't understand. It's just so close that we can get together, but nevermind, he will be happier without me. I can never satisfy him. I'm just to careless or clumsy.
I just being foolish to think that we can make it. Not deeply in his mind has the intention to stay for life with me, Jenny, you have to understand.
It's just too unfair that he can move away without any burden while everything dropped on you. Don't worry, you will grow, jenny. He teaches you a lot as usual, life is not easy, it's full of uncertainty. Even the most certain one turns out to be unsecured. Don't think too much, it'll just hurt yourself.
Love, Jen
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Don't expect too much
Dear Diary,
Peppe told me some days before that he is likely to get the painting job, it really boosts our morale much up. However, he didn't hear from her anymore which implies that it's not likely to happen for him to bring money to HK.
Money will be a bonus to our life at the beginning because it might avoid quarrel on trivial issues between us. I still remember that when we were in Italy, he was determining to change and do everything but going back to London just defeated all his goal. He was not motivated to do whatsoever necessary.
This time, I had high expectation on him to change and share life with me, however, I realised that having expectation is a wrong move since it will only burden myself with all the uncertainty and disappoint myself as I was in London if things don't go as expected. With this man, I have to be the pillar of finance and be patient. I must remember, otherwise things will only be worse.
I try to preach him about the time and goal management because I am bothered a bit by his sluggishness to react fot his own life. The painting job is not for granted but he should find out if he will be getting this job or not in order to plan on his next move.
Jenny, remember, you have to be strong before he becomes strong.
Love, Jenny
Peppe told me some days before that he is likely to get the painting job, it really boosts our morale much up. However, he didn't hear from her anymore which implies that it's not likely to happen for him to bring money to HK.
Money will be a bonus to our life at the beginning because it might avoid quarrel on trivial issues between us. I still remember that when we were in Italy, he was determining to change and do everything but going back to London just defeated all his goal. He was not motivated to do whatsoever necessary.
This time, I had high expectation on him to change and share life with me, however, I realised that having expectation is a wrong move since it will only burden myself with all the uncertainty and disappoint myself as I was in London if things don't go as expected. With this man, I have to be the pillar of finance and be patient. I must remember, otherwise things will only be worse.
I try to preach him about the time and goal management because I am bothered a bit by his sluggishness to react fot his own life. The painting job is not for granted but he should find out if he will be getting this job or not in order to plan on his next move.
Jenny, remember, you have to be strong before he becomes strong.
Love, Jenny
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
What do you think?
Dear Diary,
Haven't talked here for some times, what brings me back? I want to share, that's it.
Iris, my boss, she has been very helpful for my situation. However, I don't want to take it like granted. I feel ashamed of myself being so useless. I know it's just for the moment but I am not proud of this.
I am shy in receiving others; help because I don't know how to say thanks, neither I know how to put a halt on it. Her words made me reflect on myself so intensively. I don't want to take advantage of others, neither I want to take things for granted. Being dependable on others is just horrible. I hate that, it cripples me, my growth. I don;t want that happening to me ever.
For another day, I can't talk to Peppe. It's getting closer to the date he comes, I am more nervous than ever. I am thinking everyday if we can make it.
Love, Jen
Haven't talked here for some times, what brings me back? I want to share, that's it.
Iris, my boss, she has been very helpful for my situation. However, I don't want to take it like granted. I feel ashamed of myself being so useless. I know it's just for the moment but I am not proud of this.
I am shy in receiving others; help because I don't know how to say thanks, neither I know how to put a halt on it. Her words made me reflect on myself so intensively. I don't want to take advantage of others, neither I want to take things for granted. Being dependable on others is just horrible. I hate that, it cripples me, my growth. I don;t want that happening to me ever.
For another day, I can't talk to Peppe. It's getting closer to the date he comes, I am more nervous than ever. I am thinking everyday if we can make it.
Love, Jen
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Silly
Dear Diary,
I'm being crushed. The Police turned up for a dispute between my mum and I. I didn't know what I'm doing. I'm so tired, very tired.
I did something very stupid which scared my parents off, I'm sorry that I didn't mean to do that.
I'm exhausted.
cheers,
jen
I'm being crushed. The Police turned up for a dispute between my mum and I. I didn't know what I'm doing. I'm so tired, very tired.
I did something very stupid which scared my parents off, I'm sorry that I didn't mean to do that.
I'm exhausted.
cheers,
jen
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