Replase

Dear Diary,

He wrote to me first: jenny, I'm sorry but don't think that I don't love you.'
then: 'explaining that his behavoiur was for my lie.'

What do you think of his intent to me? I'm confused because everytime thing was happening near to his need to money. Honestly, I don't believe that his intent with me was for money but no one can gurantee that he wouldn't look for another girl.

I rather him not calling me or just let me die in silence. Now, he stirred me up again. I'm confused. I love him so much where he could dominate me whenever he feels like.

He mentioned about the lie every time he was in desperation. I don't want to engage in this relation anymore if he couldn't forgive me. I don't know if one day he would truly forget the lie or he is just using it as an excuse. He said he desires to do whatever he wants without being checked, if so, I don't think he should come to HK since living in 2 is a commitment to compromise with each other. Doing whatever one wants doesn't exist.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the gambling counsellor. I hope I could relieve myself from this burden. I really hope for the best for us together or individually.

Love, Jen